Promiscuous Girl: You're Wasting Your Life
Quality, not quantity matters
By Raina Clampitt



"You expect me to let you hit it, but will you respect me if you get it?"

"All I can do is try, just give me one chance. Whatʼs the problem? I donʼt see no ring on your hand...”

- Nelly Furtado and Timbaland, “Promiscuous”

Today's idea of female empowerment - interjected somewhere in the midst of Gloria Steinem-branded feminism and Sex and the City-style social freedom - is defined by the belief that women possess the prerogative to freely choose their own path of liberation in life. And by virtue of the societal and professional gains women have pioneered since the Feminist movement, women have never enjoyed greater freedom in society.

Yet as shifting gender roles and abstract notions of female empowerment swirl beyond the intelligentsia and reach mainstream society, an environment has evolved where women now have social permission to brazenly celebrate their sexuality. The ideological shift from perpetuated feminazi victimhood to sexual liberation allows women to now revel in their own self-prescribed brand of sexual bravado, all without the bat of a eyelash. It seems that promiscuity has now gathered the reverence of the quintessential hallmark of a sexually-liberated woman of the 21st century.

Whether it's fleshing out a standard from practicing indiscriminate, casual sexual behavior from the bar to the boardroom, today's "sexuallyliberated" woman is defined by frequent randomlyselected partners, locations and scenarios chosen by the participants. Irrelevant are the emotions of both parties involved; the act itself strictly from physical motives. In order to be promiscuous, one must disregard higher-valued traits to settle for the bare minimum of acceptability in a sexual encounter. After all, when you are trying to sleep with the random guy at the club, there's no time to search out any semblance of his morals, humor, personality or ability to love. Instead, one need only go skin deep - much like the act itself.

Which ultimately points to the crux of the problem for women - promiscuity allows quantity to prevail at the expense of quality. It seems as though some women have failed to grasp what we over at the Prometheus Institute hold true as our maxim: Quality over quantity. One hundred heels, or a priceless pair of Manolo Blahniks? Gucci handbag knock-off from the local mall kiosk, or a classically beautiful Birkin bag? Cosmopolitan Martini made with house liquor (or wait, was that rubbing alcohol), or a libation made with freshly squeezed cranberries and Belvedere vodka? A quality, renaissance man with impeccable taste, or the cutest, available guy at the dive bar? Ad infinitum.

Alas, many women sadly return to illogical and irrelevant defenses to justify their repetitive forays into promiscuous behavior. And when a behavior is devoid of all logic, sense and fulfillment, I beg the question-why engage in it?

Despite an inability to be dissuaded by the threat of sexually transmitted diseases, some women claim, albeit truthfully, that engaging in sex is a primordial urge shared by all humans. Accordingly, she likely sees the prospect of engaging in sexual relations with multiple partners as biologically unproblematic, especially when a monogamous relationship is non-existent. After all, sex is a basic human desire that should and can be fulfilled.

Yet, no biological impetus exists in triggering promiscuity in women. The chemical release of oxytocin in a female's body during orgasm, a hormone well-known for its involvement in the formation of trust, social recognition and bonding, compels women to bond with their sexual partner. While oxytocin is also simultaneously released in males during orgasm, testosterone prevails in the chemical race by a large margin, and thus has an intense effect on libido and male sexual drive. Hence, the biological catalyst in creating the male and female sexual complex of 'sowing your oats' and 'the nurturing lover', respectively, which both genders have adopted for millenia. Clearly, the evolutionary implications of hormonal release in males and females have alternate effects, both compelling each sex to engage in opposite behaviors.

Other women choose to validate their promiscuous lifestyle by referring to the infamous and completely irrelevant male standard: if men can sleep with whomever they want, surely women can too. This distinction is unsurprisingly fallacious on several grounds.

Indubitably, women are wholly distinct from men, and accordingly, should not revert or justify their actions according to an unrefined male standard of behavior. Furthermore, even if women are to compare themselves against an unaspiring standard of behavior, women are culturally and emotionally distinguishable from men.

American cultural male standards questionably support promiscuity-the need for men to "sow his oats" is undeniably pervasive and lauded amongst men as a rite of passage. Going out and hooking up with his fellow female consorts is more likely to garner a pat on the back from one's father, unlike the distinct and sinful familial response women receive when the same behavior is practiced. And as a result of such deep cultural entrenchment in the sexual realm, men are conditioned to think differently about sex than women are. It is of no moment that minimal cultural support exists for women to go out and revel in sexual transience like their male counterparts.

Additionally, continuous forays into promiscuity are considered socially undesirable, such that social barriers are put in place by both sexes as an implicit discouragement to engage in it. Primarily, promiscuous women may find themselves alienating other females, as "sleeping around" is devalued for several reasons. Women view rampant promiscuity in their female counterparts as a self-respect issue. Whether a promiscuous woman is unaware of her value as an intelligent woman, has low self-esteem or subsequently masquerades her lack of respect for herself by cloaking her emotional insecurities through male attention, something is sadly off-kilter. For men, they may initially be inclined to pursue a perceived easy conquest for purely physical purposes. However, the promiscuous woman's mystery is short-lived, and most men will most likely not pursue an eventual long-term relationship with her.

Some promiscuous women make bald assertions when defending their sexuality - promiscuity cannot be equivocated with low selfesteem, they say, and that they could care less if other men and women respect them. First off, let's be real: the majority of American women who are engaging in unbridled promiscuity do not possess the Samantha Jones mentality Kim Catrall so infamously epitomized from her Sex and the City days. Few women in today's society exude the level of intense masculinity required to callously engage in physical activities that are normally relegated to a man's realm. The majority of women are merely shutting off their desire to have a real relationship in order to engage in a promiscuous sexual act. And as far as women not caring about what others think of her--this is the biggest lie any woman can tell herself.

Society has deluded some women into believing there is no alternative: You either work towards professional recognition and financial success in your career, or cultivate an intimate relationship with a man, whilst allowing all things to fall to the wayside. Other than reeking of a false dilemma any logician would be ashamed of, it is true some women chose demanding careers, where long hours, arduous schedules and high-level intellect is required to succeed, which leaves many women exhausted at the end of the day. It is of no surprise, then, that a small segment of these women claim that casual encounters are all they can emotionally invest in due to their time-intensive career.

Yet, these facets alone do not have to preclude women from having any semblance of a real relationship. The true challenge that women must overcome is learning to balance a career with one's personal life-and the outcome is arguably far more rewarding than continuous promiscuity and random encounters. A healthy relationship-one where both parties derive mutual support, respect and companionship from one another— can be a welcome outlet which enriches both parties! personal and professional lives. Correspondingly, while a full-blown, all consuming relationship may be out of the question, some type of relationship is possible— and one that at least does not have the audacity to debase women into meaningless sexual creatures. But to use the justification of having a career as an obstacle to a relationship for a carte blanche to engage in female promiscuity is pure, unadulterated self-deceit.

The desire to engage in promiscuous sex will always exist, and society, with the menagerie of artists, writers and television shows that so eloquently illustrate the deceitful and liberating bliss associated with such casual dalliances.

Sadly though, a larger shame exists. The audacity to sell women, who comprise a generation taught to value and respect ourselves, liberation packaged up in the cheap gloss of promiscuity is the real chimera.

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written by Robert, May 06, 2008

By definition, libertarians believe that the individual is free to do whatever he or she pleases, as long as they're not hurting anyone. So the author should be *for* female promiscuity, right?

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written by Me, August 13, 2008

The excuse that it's not hurting one is false. Just a way to deny responsibility. My first partner was my husband. He told me he'd been very responsible. Two weeks after I gave him my virginity, he gave me herpes and HPV. They hit me hard with a lot of ongoing pain, while he was one of the lucky statistics that never had any pain. Two years later, he's bailed and I'm still having pain.

It turned out, he'd been incredibly promiscuous with all kinds of sex workers and other promiscuous women. I was disgusted, but he gave me that BS line... as long as we consented and didn't hurt each other, nothing was wrong.

I disagree. His consenting behavior was not something I consented to. While he went out and had meaningless fun with any woman who was breathing, I paid the consequences a few years later.

Promiscuity ALWAYS has consequences, whether they be emotional or physical, hurting you or a future partner... it's just a bad idea.

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